The 90s did have a devil-may-care attitude, didn’t they?
Ohhhh…the 90s! There are some things that need to stay in the past. Sometimes, however, we yearn for the good old days when things were simpler. Like not worrying about everything having high fructose corn syrup (just let me drink my diabetes drink in pieces mom). The ’90s were filled with such wonders of the world, so let’s talk about them. If you think I’ve missed any high-energy, rip-snorting, knee-scabbing, or jelly-filled trends from the ’90s, then call me out on Twitter @StocktonMyers96.
5. The 90s had an Utter Disregard For Your Health.
Now look, I get it. America is one of the unhealthiest countries on the entire planet, but sometimes you just want to indulge in the absolute best that junk food has to offer. Things like Supersizing at McDonald’s, or Ecto Cooler (the overly unhealthy kind, not the new kind). I know it’s not good for my health, but sometimes I just want to drown myself in a monsoon of French fries and wake up at 4 A.M. for a ceremonial bowel destroyer….too much?
I know this is more of the late 90s into early 2000’s type of deal, but that doesn’t mean that Ska doesn’t deserve a special place in our hearts! Where else can you get overly peppy brass players with bass players that make you want to bounce like Daffy Duck in an insane asylum? This genre of music is often associated with certain fashion trends, but I think we may need to keep chain wallets in the old pair of ripped jeans where they belong…*shudder*…chain wallets.
3. Sassy Commercials
Here’s the thing, corporate brands do show sass nowadays, but it’s mostly delegated to some comedian stuck in a closet running a Twitter account for Wendy’s. What I’m looking for is the cojones to call out brands on national television. I’m talking over-the-top WWE callouts here people. Does anybody remember the slogan “Genesis does what Nintendon’t?” FREAKING, MIND-BLOWING!!! Sega’s whole brand in the 90s was a playground insult, and a made-up feature called blast processing. The craziest part? it worked! I would love to see this kind of sass in commercials today. If there are some commercials like this in circulation right now, let me know!
2. The 90s were the pinnacle of Saturday Morning Cartoons
*Sigh*…This one hurts. Saturday morning cartoons were the reward for a grade-schooler making it through the week. It wasn’t just a bunch of cartoons; it was a lifestyle man. Waking up at an insanely early hour for a Saturday with a Bowl of off-brand Frosted Flakes while watching Animaniacs was proof that you were able to handle what the week had to throw at you. I know that Saturday Morning Cartoons were still going up until around 2010, but the peak of the medium was in the 90s without a doubt. The reason was that cartoons meant business in the 90s, and they didn’t care if they had to throw a few punches…literally.
1. Classic Cartoon Violence
The 90s was the last era of cartoons doing what cartoons do best, taking a hit. There is a reason we look back so fondly on classics like Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry, and Animaniacs. They weren’t afraid to throw hands and be violent. Let me be clear though, that this kind of violence is not the kind where it harms the mind. This kind of classic cartoon shenanigans involves duck season and rabbit season, over-the-top screams from a gray cat, and cheeky innuendos for the parents watching as well. Basically, I would love to be able to see Elmer Fudd take his shotgun with him when he goes hunting. I want ridiculous scenarios involving an anvil flattening a cat into a hockey puck and then proceeding to blow into his thumb to reinflate himself. There is an art to this kind of thing, and it doesn’t have to be gross or bloody. Also…I like the part where Tom screams.
If you think that I missed any trends in media from the 90s, I would love to hear your opinion! Hit me up on my Twitter @StocktonMyers96 and tell me how wrong I am. I have to wonder if, in 2040, we’ll be talking about things we miss from the 2020s….eh, that’s a little too existential for me.
This article is by guest contributor Stockton Myers