Welcome to my roundup of what I like to call “I did not see that coming!”
Hollywood is bursting with both horrifying and happy news today. Let’s start with the horrifying:
For some reason, Calvin Klein thought putting the massively tattooed pop star in their undies with a hot model would be a good idea. Your thoughts? I’m still betting money that they photoshopped his head onto that six pack.
How about a nice palate cleanser? Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds happily announced they just welcomed their first child today. The only thing we’re certain of is:
A: this will be the most beautiful child since Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt decided to procreate and
B: the kid is already richer than I will ever be.
More happy stuff? Because that last one turned out kind of sad at the end…
Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden got married! Surprise! Who knew they were even dating? They married Monday at Cameron’s place in LA. (Hope she likes Nicole Ritchie, since she’s her new sister-in-law.)
Okay, you’re happy enough. Now for horrifying again. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Seriously. You look at this and it’s on you. Like, literally when the nausea and vomiting start. MTV’s “Teen Mom” spawn Farrah Abraham just got lip implants. The porn “star,” yogurt shop owner and teen mom’s cosmetic procedure didn’t turn out that well.
On the bright side, Farrah exists as a cautionary tale: if your teenagers weren’t scared off the by “teen mom” and “porn actress” thing, this should do it. I told you not to look!